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All of us want to feel liked, loved, and accepted; it is a part of our psychological makeup. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs states that universal psychological human needs include: “prestige/feeling of accomplishment, intimate relationships, and friends.” So what exactly makes someone stand out in a crowd? What makes you wanted by your peers?
Being true to yourself
In other words, don’t be fake. People want to know who you really are. Facades and charm will only get you so far; people seek out real people. Real people are trustworthy; they tell you what they actually think. They are also dependable, a very desirable trait when it comes to friendships. So don’t waste your time acting as if you were someone you’re not, be yourself.
And if you’re thinking, the real me just isn’t that amazing… you couldn’t be further from the truth. No matter what your talents and giftings are, you are special and serve a critical purpose in this world; show your friends who you really are! Don’t hide behind a mask, embrace your giftings and watch as people flock to you. We, as people, are drawn to those who are comfortable in their own skin, which brings us to the next point.
Confidence is an extremely inviting character trait. Confident people are inspiring, they are encouraging, and they have a strength about them that lifts up the people around them. Studies show that narcissism, on the other hand, appears attractive to people at first, but repulsive shortly after.
Showing that you are confident in who you are is attractive to people, many of whom are struggling to feel confident themselves. Relax and enjoy who you are, that’s the ticket to not only other people liking you, but to you liking yourself as well. I can do this should be your mantra, I am valuable, I have purpose; speak kindly to yourself and watch your confidence grow.
Know that sometimes, confidence is born out of adversity, so don’t be ashamed if you lack in confidence right now…your time will come.
Humility is one of the most important character traits of likable people. Often we feel the need to project a strong look, hiding our weaknesses as a part of an “indestructible” front we put up. Although a good front feels like a safe barrier to hide behind, in the long run, doing this limits our abilities to relate to people and to build meaningful friendships. Remember this; people are much more attracted to your weaknesses than to your strengths.
If we truly desire close relationships, we need to step outside of our facades, take off the masks, and throw the fronts we put up into the trash can. Remember that there is only one of you. Don’t hide who you are, and don’t be afraid just to be yourself. Every second you spend trying to act like somebody else is wasted time.
At the end of the day, likable people are the kindhearted ones who care about the people in their lives. When you truly care about others, in word and deed, it tends to be reciprocated.
In the words of fighter, Rose Namajunas, “just be a good person, that’s it”